Longing
by FallenTruth
Summary: HoroRenyaoi they are together, but what if someone wasn't too happy about that? See if you can guess who.Oneshot


**FallenTruth:** I know this is a bizarre thing but anyone with HoroHoro is all right with me. Anyway I don't own Shaman King and this fic is so depressing.cries If anyone has anyway to make my writing better please help me. I have the feeling all my fics lack a certain something, but I'm not sure what.

Longing

They lie together looking so peaceful and happy. That is all that matters isn't it? I feel so alone sitting looking in at them. The stars shine down on them highlighting their tangled limbs. They are at peace and tears trickle down my face. They are so happy and everyone else can but look in on them. Blue hair and purple mingle on their pillow as they lie so close together. Jealousy runs through my heart. Images of them together flash through my mind. Smiles and stolen kisses as the two are oblivious to the world. Moments so clear in my vision especially the first. When I was finally ready to tell HoroHoro how I felt about him. It was too late. Too late for so many things and now all I can do is watch them together.

Some unknown urge made me jump across to their window and enter the room. I looked down at the two yet again. So close it was possible to see their expressions, Horo was smiling even in sleep. Ren looked cute cuddled up to the slightly older shaman. I knelt by Horo my fingers tracing his features oh so gently. The smile never left his face, as he lay there unknowing of my feelings. I glance at Ren seeing him still asleep. I wish I could be him. He is where I want to be. I close my eyes imagining myself where Ren is now lying within Horo's embrace. Safe and loved forever. Ren is so confident in his lovers feelings the Ainu so open with them. He should have been mine not Ren's how was this fair? My eyes drank in the sight of Horo lying there. He could never be mine, never.

I stood ready to leave unable to take the vision of the two of them together any more. I jumped out of the window back to my tree hiding once more in the shadows. I flicked my hand and the window closed with a click. Ren awoke and I moved further back into the shadows. He got up slowly and went to the window opening it and looking out. I held my breath certain that I would be discovered. After a moment the blue haired one sat up sleepily looking at his lover with a grin and said something. Ren grinned and turned his back to me and went back to the other. Horo opened his arms to Ren who leant into him kissing him. I stood transfixed by the sight of them together. It etched itself on my heart burning me, as they grew more heated in their embrace. I turned from them and jumped from the tree. I had to escape the image of them together. I had to run from it.

The next morning I entered the house late and saw all of the others already up and ready. I smiled wanly at them feeling tired. HoroHoro smiled at me breaking my heart again,

"Where were you Lyserg we were worried?" I waved my hand,

"I had to go somewhere last night couldn't sleep you know. I went to the cemetery it's quiet there." Ren frowned,

"Is that the only place you went?" My heart froze for a second he knew. He had to know that would be the only reason he would ask such a question. I pull up a smile from somewhere and ask nonchalantly,

"Where else would I go?" Ren looks at me intently and then nods. My blood begins to flow again and I leave the room going up the stairs to my room. Chloe on my shoulder sighs sadly as I enter the room. I nod, "I know Chloe, but I am letting go now. I will always feel this way wanting him, but he isn't mine. He and Ren are happy. I can't ruin that for them. They both deserve to be happy. When they are together it's like nothing else matters. They could conquer the world just because of who they are beside." I laughed at my own words, "Oh dear I have been watching too many films recently." I sighed and made a decision, "I am going to go back to England. I have to finish my studies and it is better this way Chloe. It will give me a chance to mature properly."

Chloe floated in front of me and opened her arms hugging me. "I love you too Chloe, it's just that he …" A knock on my door stopped me and I frowned. "Come in." It was Ren and HoroHoro. In my head I cursed, Ren did know and he was going to say something. HoroHoro smiled at me genuinely and Ren spoke,

"Hey, you have something you want to tell us?" I tried I really did trying to arrange the words in my head, but what came out was completely different,

"I am leaving. I am going back to England I have to finish my studies you know. I knew I couldn't stay here forever, but I wanted to." HoroHoro frowned,

"Awwwwwww don't go please!" He did his puppy eyes at me and I felt my resolve melting. Without even realising it I sent a desperate glance at Ren.

"Horo leave him alone. Give him a hug and get out." Horo huffed and stuck his tongue out at Ren. He moved forward wrapping me in a warm hug that seemed to go on forever and then left. Ren stayed looking at me and then came closer,

"Thanks Lyserg." I felt shocked,

"Why? I …" Ren smirked,

"I know how you feel for Horo. He just doesn't see because he is an idiot though he is a cute one." I just sat on my bed shocked at this news.

"Ren I'm sorry. I would never do anything about it I know he's yours and you both love each other." Ren's eyes softened as he looked at me. He sat on the bed beside me.

"That's why I said thank you. You can't control your emotions Lyserg I know that for a fact. He is just so lovable you don't even realise how you feel until it's too late." I laughed,

"I know what you mean. He just sort of sneaks up on you." Ren nodded,

"I couldn't expect you to not love him. We'll miss you Lyserg Horo especially. He takes everyone into his heart it's amazing there's that much room. You could stay." I shook my head,

"Thank you Ren, but I couldn't. I might break my resolve to do nothing and then I would hate myself. Trust me it's better this way." Ren left me, as I got ready.

I sat on the plane flying home and felt a tugging in my heart as it ran down the runway. I looked back and could have sworn I saw blue hair there and someone waving frantically. I would come back when I had found someone else not before. That was the only way I could go back. This longing couldn't always plague me.

The End

**FallenTruth: **Maybe I should write another where Lyserg meets his true love which has to be HAO! Hmmmmmm maybe I will. Suggestions are appreciated i can take criticism just not very much. Please love my writing!


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